


Say everything you need to under these blossoms

by purplefox



Series: ShukitaWeek2019 [3]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:51:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplefox/pseuds/purplefox
Summary: Shukita Week 2019 Day three Cherry Blossoms And Things left UnsaidYusuke's loved Akira for a long time but he knows there are things Akira doesn't share. He knows there was never any time to get really honest back when they were the phantom thieves. That doesn't mean he doesn't worry.





	Say everything you need to under these blossoms

It was that time of year again. Spring. Yusuke adjusted his clothes before he sighed. He was not cold but he knew that for anyone else they would be complaining about the wind that nipped at exposed flesh. Maybe it was his flustered thoughts that was keeping him warm. There were so many things to think about.

That so much time had passed and he was in this place again. Just that he was by himself this time for this visit. One year ago and a little bit. He had the others had driven off together in order to return Akira to his home. It had been quite the journey. All of them together in the van taking the long trip across Japan to return Akira to his hometown.

They had not wanted to let Akira go. Yusuke understood that feeling. Akira had an intense presence; it was hard not to be drawn in by it. They had all been entranced by it in their own ways. For Yusuke he and Akira had gotten off on the wrong foot. He had been busy blinding himself when he had met Akira. slowly slipping into the muck surrounding his sensei.

Akira had saved him from that and pushed his way into Yusuke’s mind and his heart. He had been unable to look away from him. Akira was just that intense. His gaze, the way he saw the world. Once Akira trusted you enough to let his walls down, he revealed his cocky trickster self. Yusuke had never stood a chance.

Akira accepted him as he was. He did not want Yusuke to change in the way that others had. Instead he inspired Yusuke to try harder and to trust Akira more. It had been a slow journey to love. A slow fall but Akira had caught and supported him. His smile had captured Yusuke easily.

Which was why knowing he had to let him go had been painful. Which was why things going down the way they had… it had also been painful. Yusuke still thought about the moment he realized that Akira was gone. Taken off to be behind bars. That he had given himself up without a fight.

That night. The night before Akira had given himself up. Yusuke had known something was wrong. He had suspected something heavy was on Akira’s mind but he had been unable to pry it out of him. Akira had kept it tightly to his chest and had not revealed a thing.

All he had done was hold Yusuke tightly throughout the whole night. That was it. He had looked him over. Kissed his fingertips as they rested under the covers. He had murmured words Yusuke understood and words that he had been unable to catch due to the dialect that Akira had used. He had been worried but he had fallen asleep in the arms of the person he had loved.

He had woken up and everything had gone the way it usually did. Just Akira had been lost in thought. Still, he had walked Yusuke to the station. Held his hand along the way. He had kissed him goodbye and watched Yusuke board the train. Then Yusuke had returned to the dorms. He had worried but he had turned to painting to calm his nerves.

Then in the evening he had received several panicked calls and messages from Ryuji and Ann saying that Akira had been taken. His heart had been shaken and he had thought back to the night before and how heavy the air around Akira had been. He had left the dorms without another word never checking to see if the door locked behind him. He had rushed back to LeBlanc as if he could turn back time to the night before. He had rushed back even knowing he would find nothing.

X

Akira loved him, Yusuke knew that and he had known that. Akira had been open with affection. Open with his words of love. He had been open from the very beginning about his interest and his feelings. He had brought symbolism to their love. He had pursued Yusuke in ways that left his heart thumping.

Every single time they had spent time together alone, Akira had been open with his feelings. He would smile, he would laugh. He would hold Yusuke’s hand when others were not looking. More importantly for Yusuke he would kiss. When they had reached that part of their relationship Akira would kiss him.

He kissed him in the train station with others milling around them but never seeing them. It was always too fast or just hidden. Yusuke would find himself with Akira just too close and then he would find himself kissed. At the shrine. In the church. Akira had been open with his love and his affection.

Never pushing the kisses, they were short and sweet. Or at least they had been at first. Then they slowly grew, they slowly changed but that had been fine for Yusuke. His feelings had been changing as well. He had fallen hard for Akira. just as hard as Akira had fallen for him. It had been love but Yusuke by the time Akira had to go home had known.

As much as Akira loved him, he did not trust. It was expected, Akira was their leader and a leader had responsibilities. Their relationship did not change that. Still, as one that gave advice and worked so hard to be by his side. As someone who had fought for him and alongside him. He had thought that Akira would have trusted him more.

It had been shattering to realize that Akira kept things to himself and never once considered confiding in Yusuke. He had wondered why, despaired over the reasons that Akira could not have for a few seconds leaned on him. Depended on him for support. It had bothered him while Akira had been locked away. It bothered him when he came back too but Yusuke had been unable to say a single thing about it. He loved Akira, he knew Akira loved him. Now that their jobs were done that had to be enough.

X

Akira was late but Yusuke was not that surprised. While Akira had not spoken much about his hometown. His love for the place had been obvious. When they had returned Akira home Yusuke had been unsurprised to see the smiles of welcome when people had noticed him.

Maybe another bonus was that Akira’s reputation had reached home far ahead of him. Others had time to get used to their golden boy being once again golden. Yusuke was not bothered by that. He was rather accepting of that.

Since Akira had to return home. Yusuke would rather he be surrounded by those who valued him rather than suspecting and distrustful eyes. It was nice that Akira came from a town that watched over him in amusement and adoration.

They welcomed Akira; they welcomed the rest of them too. Yusuke had returned to Tokyo with the others weighed down with gifts and items. From those that knew Akira and his parents.

Akira’s parents. They looked normal. They acted normal as well. Loving too. Yusuke had been expecting something a little different. It was hard to imagine that such normal people could raise someone as strange as Akira. Someone that was able to lead a group as theirs. That could be cocky, prideful and sly. Someone with such an intense aura and the heart of a trickster.

Yusuke had to look around Akira’s hometown over and over again. Such an incredible person had come from here? Seriously? Miracles never ceased. They just never did. It was hard to imagine their leader had such humble beginnings. That he came from such a place and he managed to not just exist. He managed to fit in.

That was scary in itself. Yusuke had fallen for someone so interesting. Someone so hardworking and when he looked around at the place that he came from. It was hard to see the Joker that Yusuke knew being born in this place.

Joker, that part of Akira had always been there but sleeping dormant. Shido and the events that had followed had awoken that part of Akira. Maybe it would have never stirred if it had not been for Shido’s meddling. For that clash of fate that had caused those two to meet and keep meeting until everything had been solved.

Still, it was hard to imagine Joker lying alongside the cram school Ace and the pole vaulting middle school captain. It was hard to see all the different faces of Akira existing in such a small town. Yusuke could see the sea from the hillsides. He could see the various people walking around. Enjoying an easy pace.

And Akira fit right in among them. He had before he had come to form the phantom thieves and he did now as well. Almost as if he was slipping on an old jacket. It was a little strange to watch. But Yusuke loved that part of him as well. He wanted to know more but how could he ask? Wouldn’t that be prying? Akira kept so much to himself after all.

But Yusuke loved him. He just seemed so close and so far at the same time. Yusuke could not keep his eyes away from him. He could not stop himself from drawing him. For seeking his back. For drawing the image of his strong profile.

So many times Yusuke had woken to see Akira turned away from him doing one thing or the other. When they had been together at LeBlanc he would sometimes wake to find Akira working at the desk crafting tools for their infiltration.

Sometimes Yusuke would wake to see Akira hard at work training. Sculpting his body so that he would be strong so he would not lose.

Even now he was exactly the same. Even now Yusuke saw that strong back. How many times had he drawn it? Traced the skin with his fingers learning the muscles? Too many times. Yusuke had sketchpads filled with Akira’s profile. His hands, his face and his back. Sketches of Joker.

That was one thing that Yusuke knew that he would miss for certain. Joker in the metaverse. His looks, his cockiness. The way he led them all and directed them. The way he was just so confident. Yusuke had sketched it so many times but he wished he could see that again. Akira as Joker was magnificent. He had never said it but the way Joker would watch him sometimes told Yusuke that Akira knew very well what he felt.

It was not easy to date someone who you had to follow at the same time. Yusuke had known that long before he and Akira had gotten together. he had respected Akira, admired him and had been willing to follow him. That Akira had wanted a shift in their relationship. Had wanted to add to it.

Yusuke was not naïve; he had known from the start it would not be easy on both sides but he had seen it as another way to support. A way that he could have Akira and support him. Akira was quick to love. Quick to tease but he was hard to support. He had depended on them.

On their skills. On their hearts. He had fought with them and trusted them in many ways. Trusted their gut feelings and their experiences, he had been willing to learn and willing to take a step back when out of his depth. He had done it for them willingly.

But so many things he had kept to his chest and even now. Yusuke knew that there were things that Akira kept to himself. he was quick to ask for help when there were things to do or he sensed things taking a turn for them. But he asked for help when he felt there was something that could be done.

So far, in the time that Yusuke had known him. Akira had never turned to them when everything was hopeless and not a single thing could be done. Not any of the others, and not Yusuke to who Akira had given his heart. It was a little depressing.

X

“Yusuke!” Akira had made it to the meeting spot. Yusuke unfolded his arms and brushed himself off as he stood up properly. The tree he had been leaning against had been good shade and made for a nice prop. “I’m sorry that I’m late. I would have been here before.” Akira panted as he leaned forward. “But it was hard to get through the people and to get them to leave me alone.”

“I understand.” Yusuke smiled as he tugged the arm sleeves of his kimono. “You didn’t change?” He glanced down at himself. “Your father had given me this so I had assumed-“

“Either or is fine. Lots of people wear Japanese clothing around here.” Akira pointed to the other side of the street where there were a few boys in kimonos surrounding a street vendor. “But it’s usually down to personal preference. People do what they want so it isn’t out of place.” He tugged at his opened shirt with a smile. The vest under it was black and tucked into his pants. “It doesn’t look out of place so do what you want. I bet mom and dad just wanted you to look pretty.”

“I see.” Yusuke said slowly as he looked over the brown kimono. “I thought it was something I had to do but you just wear what you want as usual.”

“I like this too.” Akira brushed over his open white shirt with a smile. “Besides, I’m not Ryuji. My fashion sense is actually pretty nice you know.”

“You do have a way with clothes.” Yusuke agreed. “So now that you are here. What are we going to do?”

“Well…” Akira grinned before he grabbed Yusuke’s hand. “We’re going to go exploring aren’t we?” He laughed. “Actually. There are some places I want to show you. Now that we have the chance and I don’t have to be a good host.” Akira’s hand gently soothed Yusuke’s as he began to walk. The streets were not crowded but they were not empty either. “I’ve thought about taking you to so many of my old hangouts. I just knew you would be incredible here.”

“You’ve really settled back in here.” Yusuke said softly. The wind was lowing strongly. A little chilly but Yusuke liked the cold so it did not bother him. He just used his free hand to brush away the hair that tried to cover his eyes as Akira led him up stone steps. There were still shops everywhere but the further he looked up the more trees and scenery he saw. When he looked down, Yusuke saw all the way to the sea.

“It was a crazy year.” Akira laughed softly. “But I wasn’t gone that long. I was thinking about it though. The smells and sights, the feeling of the people. How everything was just different. It’s easy to do what I’ve always done but I’ve been longing to have you by my side.” His hand tightened for a second before he was picking up the pace. “I’ve missed you.”

“So have I.” Yusuke admitted. “Even with us constantly messaging each other I’ve missed you. It was hard to know that I wouldn’t see you on the train platform. Or meet up with you at the station.”

“I know.” Akira said softly. “It hurt to know there would be no more late nights at LeBlanc. I had to beg my parents to buy a coffee siphon. I missed the whole thing so much and making curry for you.”

“I’m surprised you told your parents about us.” Yusuke admitted. “You didn’t even hesitate. You told them right away.” It had surprised Yusuke. Considering the way that Akira kept things close to the chest regarding everything else. He had assumed this too would remain a secret.

But he had told his parents. Called Yusuke his special person and Yusuke had been welcomed into their home so easily. Akira was free with his love and affection. Taking risks that many people would never do yet in so many things he kept it to himself.

Yusuke did not doubt Akira’s love for him. Akira proved it all the time. However, it still bothered him that Akira could so easily keep important matters to himself. like the time with his arrest. Like his initial suspicions of others.

“My parents…” Akira trailed off as he considered things. “Really? It just seemed like the thing to do. I was back and I wanted to tell them a bit of what I was up to when I was gone. I can’t tell them about the phantom thieves.” Akira said softly. “But I can show them my friends and let them know I fell in love.”

“That sounds so much like you.” Yusuke said softly. “As usual your reasoning would blow anyone away.” He squeezed Akira’s hand as they walked. “I’m glad that you told them and that they welcomed me into their home.”

“I knew they would like you. Even if it was a bit of a shock.” Akira laughed softly. “I’ve never felt a need to commit to anyone else before. You’re the first person I fell for that I brought home. My parents must have been in shock. But they love me and they are proud of me.” His soft smile caught Yusuke’s gaze. “I’m glad I fell for you and when they see me now. I know my parents must feel the same way too. glad that I fell for someone like you. You bring out the best in me.”

“Considering how we met and the actions that were taking.” Yusuke shook his head. “Shouldn’t the one to say such a thing be me?”

“Can’t we both say it?” Akira laughed as he tugged at Yusuke’s hand. “Because if we both feel this strongly about it. We should both get to say it.”

X

“This was one of my favourite spots when I was in middle school.” Akira said softly as he tugged Yusuke through the park. “The council planted all these trees when- well not when I was a kid but my Mom said they got planted when she had just left high school.” He sighed. “And look at them now. When I was a kid it was so quiet and huge.”

“I think that had something to do with your height at the time.” Yusuke teased with a laugh. Akira stopped walking in order to flick Yusuke’s hair with a snort before he continued to walk again his hand warm in Yusuke’s own. “But it is rather beautiful.”

“It’s a preservation project but people don’t usually stray off the path.” Akira said softly. “I did though. Even though there were no paths or benches I always strayed off the path. The shade of the trees, the sound of the wind. The view.” He sighed. “Even as a kid I always found it a little peaceful.”

“I can imagine.” Yusuke said softly. “The wind here, the breeze. It’s rather calming. For a child it might be the peace they need.”

“I always liked chilling outside by myself. Not that I couldn’t play with the other kids or that I didn’t want to.” Akira laughed as they moved through the trees. The grass was a bit higher. Brushing Yusuke’s ankles. “Just I wanted to be alone. It wasn’t as if I was running from anything. I just wanted to be outside with my thoughts. If I was artistically inclined, I guess I would have drawn what I saw or how I felt.”

“That would be interesting to see.” Yusuke laughed before he glanced up. the further they moved the more that the trees and the blossoms above blocked the sky. As it was he was seeing the patches of the spring sky the deeper they moved. Still with Akira’s hand in his, all Yusuke wanted to do was keep walking by his side.

“I was a brat you know.” Akira laughed softly. “I did what I had to but I was always curious. Always finding things and running off to be by myself. I used to go walking about at the shrine. I used to nap there too.” He paused before he laughed. “But one of the old ladies caught me a morning and I never slept there again. It used to be fun. Just sleeping in the sun.”

“Like a cat.” Yusuke laughed softly. Akira squeezed his hand and he smiled again. “It sounds like something a cat would do Akira.”

“It does doesn’t it. Maybe that’s why Mona and I get along so well. I guess there was a little cat in me.” Akira laughed. “And we’re almost here. Let’s go.”

X

“This is it.” Akira laughed as he tugged Yusuke through some bushes. “Watch your step, no one else comes out here but it has the best view.” His hand slipped around Yusuke’s waist. “But it’s right on the hill so…” He trailed off as he stopped. “Here we are.”

“We can see everything.” Yusuke whispered as he looked forward and he looked down. They were close to the edge and as he looked down he could see a sea of pink spreading and thinning out until he saw the blue of the ocean. “You’ve been coming here?”

“Always.” Akira said softly. “When the leaves are bare, it’s a really cute sight. In winter it is sort of humbling too. I just enjoy being here looking out to the sea.” He said softly. Yusuke watched as Akira took a seat on the ground his back to one of the trees. “Exams, school, club. Whenever things got too much or too boring I came here.”

“I can understand why.” Yusuke said as he took a seat next to Akira. the wind was blowing through the trees but with their backs to the truck they were barely bothered. “It’s peaceful.”

“It really is.” Akira smiled as he reached for Yusuke. He plucked a petal from Yusuke’s hair and laughed. “I wanted to bring you here for a long time but only at the right moment. I wanted to see how you would look here. You look as though you fit right in. With the landscape.” He whispered.

“Even thought it is your hometown?” Yusuke laughed as his gaze moved over the sea of pink. The longer he looked the more he was able to see things like houses down below. Things like roofs and gaps of spaces that he knew held roads under. “This is so beautiful.”

“It really is.” Akira said softly. “It’s one the best things about being here.” He shifted before he grabbed Yusuke’s hand. “I wanted to share this with you and I’m glad I did. Back then there wasn’t much we could do. There was so much going on but I wanted to make as many memories with you as possible.”

“I was the same.” Yusuke admitted softly. “However, there was just always something to do, something to worry about. Balancing a relationship is hard enough as it is.” Yusuke admitted. “But we did not have a normal year, we were constantly worrying about things well beyond our ag weren’t we Akira?”

“Yes we were.” Akira laughed as he reached around his back. Yusuke heard the sound of a zip before Akira tossed a small can onto his lap. He popped open another one and Yusuke was left laughing. “We didn’t get to date like normal people but we made it work. I couldn’t let you go.” Akira said softly. “I would have done anything to make it work. I found time and I tried my best. We tried our best and now that our work is done I can do normal stuff with you. No worrying about parole.” Akira sighed. “No worrying about anything but being with you.”

“And I see you’re as prepared as you always were.” Yusuke laughed softly. “I’m glad Akira. I’m glad.” He had enjoyed their time as phantom thieves. That had been a defining moment for them all but call him selfish. Call it cruel but he was glad they could be alone like this.

X

“I know we need to talk.” Akira said softly. “I bet you thought I wasn’t going to talk or even bring it up huh Yusuke.” They had finished their canned drinks a long time ago and had just remained sitting together under the shade of the trees staring out to the ocean.

“We already know that back then we didn’t have the time to really talk.” Yusuke admitted. “Back then, all you or I could focus on was making sure our feelings were mutual. On supporting each other as we tried to stay on top. The phantom thieves were a serious thing. I understood that, we were looking forward to the future, planning our future and trying to be together at the same time.”

“And it wasn’t easy at all.” Akira laughed softly before he sighed. “Balancing things were hard and being a leader? Nothing like being a captain of a sports team. I was scared most of the time. The real world and the metaverse world is scary.” Akira’s hand squeezed his hard. “I was always wondering if I was doing the right thing. If everyone would be safe with my decisions.”

“I know.” They had all known. Akira had pushed himself for them. Researched and done many things for their sakes for keeping the thieves going. “You were an incredible leader and still the best choice of us all. We always knew that there would be eventually time for us.” Yusuke said softly. “I did not mind waiting.”

“But you minded other things though.” Akira said softly. “No need to say anything Yusuke. I already knew. I knew that things bothered you. Mostly me being the leader. It wasn’t easy being the leader and it wasn’t easy making the hard decisions.” Akira said softly. “So many things Yusuke. So many things I didn’t say and right now, I have to say that I’m sorry about that. So many times I knew you must have felt hurt. I tried to make up for that.” Akira said softly. “But it seemed as though there was never enough _time_.” He stressed.

“Yes.” Yusuke agreed. “There never seemed to be enough time for serious matters. Not that we didn’t have times where we covered important matters. Still even those times it is like you focused on me. As if we focused on me and my problems and never you Akira.”

“I did what I could.” Akira said softly as he reached for Yusuke’s hand. “But I know that there were many times I wanted to do more than keep it light. Just never seemed like the right moment. There was always something to be done. Someone to keep an eye out for. I was constantly going or my mind was.” He sighed. “A constant game of chess while I had to keep my friends safe.”

“I know.” Yusuke did know, he had known then.

“But I fucked up.” Akira said softly. “I just never handled our situation properly. There was not much we could have done. There was never any time.” He stressed. “But I could have done better. Opened my mouth even.” He laughed softly. “I must have made you so worried and so stressed.”

“You didn’t believe in me enough.” Yusuke said softly. “There were so many times that I wished you would talk to me. You never did Akira. You never spoke to me. You never confided in me.” He drew his knees up to his chest as he sighed. “I wanted you to confide in me Akira but you never did. Never once did you confide in me. I was waiting.”

“I should have said something. I just couldn’t the words just wouldn’t come.” Akira sighed. “And you know, I didn’t want to think about it anymore. When I was with you. I could relax and ease for a bit. I could focus on something other than the looming panic. I could be with you and in love with you.”

“But you should have been able to tell me.” Yusuke stressed. “The way you played things close to your chest when you were leader. Some things I understood but I felt as though I wasn’t doing enough. I always relied on you but you never relied on me. That day after Shido-“

“I know you picked up on something.” Akira said softly. “I was a dick. I should have said something but I didn’t. I wanted things to stay normal. Remain normal for a little longer. I didn’t want you to panic. I didn’t want the others to fuss about anything. I knew what had to be done.”

“So you just went.” Yusuke hissed. “You just walked away to protect us as if it shouldn’t matter.”

“It did matter.” Akira said softly. “But I knew from the beginning that it did not stop there. It started with me you know. This whole thing started with my arrest and Shido. I had to end it but I shouldn’t have ended it on my own. It was never going to end with the palace. I knew that. When the prosecutor spoke to me-“

“You couldn’t say anything to me.” Yusuke bit before he sighed. “Akira-“

“I didn’t want to worry about it.” Akira said softly. “I just didn’t want to think about it Yusuke. It was so heavy and this was all I had. I didn’t want to ruin the last moment we had together. I didn’t want to taint that moment we had.” He said softly. “But I should have given you the choice. That’s what I regret. I did it on my own. I took that choice from you and the others and did my own thing.”

“Yes you did.” Yusuke whispered. “Do you have any idea how aggravating that was? How terrifying it was to come back and realize what had happened? We spent the rest of that time worried about you. We were working to get you out but all of us- me.” Yusuke stressed. “Akira, because you didn’t trust me enough to say anything. It hurt me. I felt as though you couldn’t rely on me. As though you couldn’t trust me.”

“I know.” Akira said softly. “When I got out, I knew I had fucked up. Maybe if there had been more time, I would have made a different decision. Maybe I would have said something different. Maybe if there had been more time to think I would have said something.” He sighed. “But I doubt that. I was such a brat back then and I thought I had to do it all on my own. I didn’t want to worry anyone. I didn’t want to fret anyone and I didn’t want to ruin the happiness everyone had been feeling.”

“It was ruined when we realized what you had done.” Yusuke said softly. “There are so many things you didn’t say Akira. things I was left unsure about. I’m not a mind reader. So many times I had no idea where I really stood. How you really felt about me. It’s one thing to be loved but I was more than yours. I was your friend, your team mater, your confidant but the only role I felt secure in was your lover. I knew you loved me. You showed me, you told me. But was I ever a confidant?”

“I really fucked up didn’t I.” Akira said softly. “I knew I had but to make you that uncertain… Yusuke. I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone. Things my parents don’t even suspect. Don’t doubt that. I love you. I’ve loved you for a while but you know confessing isn’t easy. It isn’t easy to fight either. It isn’t easy to be responsible either.”

“You kept it to yourself.” Yusuke whispered. “You never for a second thought-“

“That isn’t true.” Akira gritted. “Do you know how much I love you? I needed you that day, I needed to spend time with you for the last time but there is another reason I couldn’t tell you. What would have telling you changed? It had to be done. I was wavering enough as it was Yusuke.” He closed his eyes tightly. “You, Yusuke. Only you have the ability to mess me up and question things. I couldn’t take the chance. I couldn’t taint that day and I couldn’t take the chance you would change my mind.”

“You-“ Yusuke had no idea what to say to that. “Are you hearing what you are saying? If anything I would have given you comfort for those few moments. I knew something was on your mind. I wanted you to lean on me Akira.”

“And it wouldn’t have stopped there.” Akira said softly. “I love you too much. I needed you to stay strong but at the same time you would have made me waver. I would have questioned myself. Questioned what had to be done. I couldn’t say a thing then and I fucked up. I made you doubt us when it was anything but. It had to be done. I had to think about it as something that didn’t concern us.”

“It did concern us.” Yusuke hissed. “It concerned the group. Your friends and it concerned the person you claimed to love.”

“I do love you! I loved you then and I love you now.” Akira turned then and his hands seized Yusuke’s shoulders tightly. “I love you so much I consider crazy things. I love you so much that being leader made the only sense to me. I worked hard that we could succeed and we could be safe! I trusted you.” Akira said softly. “But in the end, this was my first time doing something like this. This was nothing like anything I’ve done before. There are going to be fuck ups along the way.”

“I know.” His voice sounded harsh but Yusuke’s throat felt tight. “That doesn’t change how I felt when I realized you kept something so important from me. I felt betrayed. I felt as though you didn’t trust me.”

“You know about what I went through here.” Akira said softly. “About injuries I didn’t even tell my parents about. Things I didn’t even tell my coach at the time about. You know about how scared I felt when I was sent away from here. You know about how scared I was in middle school. About how I didn’t know if I could even jump again. I’ve shared that with you.” Akira let him go as he sat back and sighed. “And I don’t regret it. When I think about that day and how scared I was. How I tried to cling to you without telling you why. I know I should have done something but even now I don’t know what the best thing to do is.”

“If we are ever put in that situation again.” Yusuke said softly. He hesitated before he grabbed Akira by the chin to make his boyfriend look him in the face. “What will you do? The police request you to turn yourself in. You have to protect the others and me. What will you do?”

“Turn myself in.” Akira whispered and Yusuke sighed. “But, I’ll ask for two days. To let everyone know it can’t be avoided.” Akira reached for Yusuke and pressed his hand to his cheek. “And make sure you won’t cry by yourself when I’m gone. Because you did cry for me didn’t you Yusuke. I’m sorry.” Akira said softly. “I never got to say it properly but I’m so so sorry Yusuke.”

X

“You took a while, maybe I should have come with you.” Yusuke lowered his hands when Akira finally reappeared. He had told Yusuke to sit still while he got something. “I was thinking of capturing this scene. The sea of white and pink stretching out to sea.”

“Yeah.” Akira laughed as he stopped by Yusuke. He had a small bag in his hands but the look in his eyes as he gazed out captured Yusuke more than the sight of the leaves and ocean had. “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Yusuke agreed as he reached for a sakura petal that had fallen into Akira’s hair. He brushed it away only to smile when another fell from above. “It’s very beautiful.” The smile that Akira gave him then was so bright that Yusuke felt his heart melt. He had fallen for a difficult person, a trickster at heart but a charismatic leader too. Forgiving Akira had never been a question. It was hard to stay mad even with the hurt. “I truly do love you.”

“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” Akira laughed softly. “Having you love me, having you here.” He sighed. “I thought that I would grow to hate it. That the sight of this place would piss me off like nothing else.” He sighed. “But I guess I was homesick. I guess I needed you to come here to make it clean for me again.”

“Akira.” Yusuke said softly. “I-I” what could he say that could even top that? “When I see you in the landscape like this.” He framed his hands and made Akira the focus. “You truly belong, without you it is beautiful but when I add you.” Yusuke said softly. “I see the beauty that lies within. I see beyond the countryside, in you is the heart of the land. You can’t be gone for very long. This is your home.” He lowered his hands. “You fit so well anywhere for any occasion but when I see you here. You carry a mystical feeling.”

“Isn’t that because you aren’t used to the countryside?” Akira teased before he laughed. “But this place is home isn’t it? Every bit of the land. The town where I grew up and ran all over.” He breathed. “It really and truly is home now. Now and forever.” He whispered. “And you’re right about many things Yusuke.” Akira sighed. “But you should see yourself here too. you’ll have the grannies whispering.”

“Me?” Yusuke frowned. “What have I done?”

“Straight out of a painting.” Akira said softly. “I grew up here but Yusuke you fit right in. like if you’ve always been here.” He tucked back some of his hair with a smile that made Yusuke’s heart throb. “Always been here but I finally get to see you. Something mystical and beautiful. Right out of a painting. That’s you.” He laughed. “Something I guess I was missing all along.”

X

“Sakura buns, tea, chocolates.” Yusuke mused as he dug through the bag that Akira had brought. “I thought this before but… your hometown really does enjoy these sorts of things don’t they? They get into the celebrations in a way I’ve never seen before. I’ve seen thing commercialized but somehow…” He held the bun in his hand as he spoke. It was still warm even through the paper.

“Somehow it feels as if everyone puts everything into is?” Akira laughed softly. “Want to know something? You’re right.” He continued as he took a chocolate from the bag. “I don’t know if it is tradition or what. They love tradition. Holidays, they love a chance to celebrate and they love beautiful things too. The kids grow up watching and loving too.”

“Even with it being a bit excessive?” Yusuke unwrapped the bun to touch how warm it was. It was pink coloured with a white petal stamp in the middle. “But they truly go all out for these sorts of things.”

“My hometown is weird like that. I know others don’t focus on it the way we do. In Tokyo it is more about the aesthetic.” He smiled. “But here? It’s all about the thankfulness and the feeling of it. I mean, when you are surrounded by things like these.” Akira smiled. “How could you not be thankful? How could you not fall in love is what I want to know because we do you know. with nature and the blessings we get. So they try to show it in the ways that they can.”

“It’s like that then.” Yusuke took a bite and had to stifle his moan. “This is… I’ve had sakura themed food before but this truly is different!”

“Love changes the flavour didn’t you know?” Akira laughed as he leaned over to take a bite from Yusuke’s bun. Yusuke eyed the bag that still had a remained bun. “Thought you would have known this from all the times I made curry before.” He joked. “Just kidding, the Auntie who made these has a secret recipe that’s been passed down for ages. That shop has been there for years, maybe centuries and it’s the best I’ve ever had.”

“It truly is magnificent.” Yusuke removed his bun from Akira’s wandering hands in order to eat more. “You’ve been eating there for a long time then. I’m jealous.”

“Her themed buns are always a treat. The curry ones, the tea ones.” Akira sighed. “The chocolate ones from that one time, the egg ones. I always loved treating myself there.” He laughed softly. “But you know I couldn’t make myself go every single day as much as I loved them. I guess I needed a good reason.”

“Did you find it?” Yusuke finished off the bun to give the bag with the remaining one a glance. “You went there happily just now.”

“Yeah.” Akira leaned back with a smile. “I needed someone to share them with.” His glance towards Yusuke made him flush. “So, you.”

X

“So.” Akira sighed as he held Yusuke’s hand. “You had your turn and I apologized and all. I still feel like I should apologize more though.” He laughed softly. “Like I feel like I should be bowing and shit.”

“Maybe you should.” Yusuke yawned as he looked up at the sky. The cherry blossoms were blocking most of it but that just added to the scene.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Akira said softly. “But you know, just as there were things bothering you. There were things bothering me too. Things I never got to say.”

“I assumed so.” Yusuke admitted. “It’s just you were our leader at the time. Even with me, even with being involved with me there were things I knew you wouldn’t or couldn’t say.”

“And I hated holding it back but we were so fragile at the time.” Akira’s hand found a place on Yusuke’s head and he patted him softly. “I always felt there was more I could do for you. Having you open to me. That was better than I expected but still…you worried me you know?”

“I assumed so.” Yusuke said softly. “But at the time I wasn’t sure what worried you. Your face can be rather expressive at times Akira.”

“God what didn’t worry me about you.” Akira laughed. “You know the check-ups I made everyone get? That was mostly because I was worried about you. You were so stubborn and sometimes you would pass out on my bed. It was cute and all but I was really concerned about you. You know how I felt the first time you passed out in my arms?”

“If I remember correctly you were white.” Yusuke recalled. “Morgana was rather afraid too.”

“It couldn’t even be called romantic.” Akira laughed softly. “I was scared something was going to happen to you if I wasn’t watching you properly. I bullied my way into your dorms because I had to know you could look out for yourself.” His smile made Yusuke shake his head. “I wasn’t reassured at all.”

“Well I do live for art.” Yusuke admitted. “But I did start trying harder after joining the phantom thieves. There are many things you can’t do when the body is weak. I wanted to be your support as much as I could and a starving body is not good for that. Besides, you kept our strength up.”

“I had other motives.” Akira laughed softly. “I wanted to build you up. Not just you, I wanted to keep everyone balanced and healthy but since you were always by my side. I wanted you like that too. aren’t I conniving?” He whispered. “Leaving you once, it made me feel guilty. I asked Sojiro to look out for you. Make sure you came by even if it was for coffee. I’m glad when I was locked up the rest of you kept meeting.”

“Going to LeBlanc was painful.” Yusuke admitted. “I saw you everywhere. Even with the coffee.”

“I’m sorry.” Akira said softly. “But it was all I could do at the time. It was ending with me so I had to see it through. No matter the costs as cruel as it sounds.”

“I know.” Yusuke sighed. “But with the others keeping me company I had my mind off several things.”

“I’m glad.” Akira sighed. “You don’t know how happy I was to see you hale and healthy. Then I had to leave again. My time was up but you came with me.” He smiled. “And my parents loved you.” He laughed. “And you’re right here, right by my side.” Akira reached from Yusuke’s cheek and the wetness he brushed away startled Yusuke. “And I find myself falling for you all over again. I didn’t even know that I could love you anymore than this.”

“Life is about discoveries.” Yusuke cleared his throat. “And there is no end to love. Because I love Akira, I love Joker.” He said softly. “I love the parts of you that I’ve seen and the parts I have yet to see.” He whispered. “I know I’ll love them too.”

X

“Exactly how long are we going to stay out here?” Yusuke laughed as he batted Akira’s hands away. “Until the sun falls? Until Morgana comes looking for us?” He questioned as he looked out at the town. With the changing day the sea had changed colour as well. It still looked huge and vast; it still complimented the colour of the cherry blossoms.

“Morgana come to look for us?” Akira snorted before he gave into laughter. “He’s suspicious. He wouldn’t want to run into something he really doesn’t want to see.” He shook his head. “And you underestimate the love my parents have for Morgana. He really isn’t going to go anywhere when he has people spoiling him with all the fish he wants.”

“I did notice that.” Yusuke admitted. “Your parents, are they cat people?” He paused. “Your mother asked if I did animal portraits. I suspected what she wanted but it was still a strange request. She said she would pay me but to take money from my host…”

“Mom and Dad have tons of pictures of Morgana.” Akira laughed. “A painting is a step up. it doesn’t matter what you say though. You do the painting my Mom will pay you. You’ll find like…” He paused. “On your way home you would find the commission money. Mom doesn’t joke around with that and she doesn’t see herself as a host. She likes you and we’re dating.” He laughed. “And you’re cute too. Mom’s in heaven. Dad likes that he can talk to you about things Mom doesn’t care about. Everyone is happy.” He said softly. “And did you forget that I love you? You’re family.”

“You have to be the strangest family I’ve ever seen.” Yusuke said softly. “Nothing like I’ve heard or even seen before. Is that because of the surroundings too?”

“Don’t talk us up too much.” Akira shook his head. “We have our own problems too. remember how I managed to end up in Tokyo? There are things even my parents can’t handle. Even things we can’t talk about.” He said softly.

“That reminds me.” Yusuke said softly. “You never told your parents about what happened when you were kicked off the teams and the stuff from before?”

“Exactly how was I supposed to bring up such a topic?” Akira snorted. “I dealt wit it then. I kept my mouth shut.” He closed his eyes. “I always kept my mouth shut, who could I tell? I’d be told to suck it up. I’d be told to understand the other party. I just kept going and going.” He shrugged. “I was strong so I was supposed to take it.”

“Petty jealousy is one thing.” Yusuke said softly. “But the things that were done to you- are those people even still around?”

“Yeah.” Akira laughed. “You know, all the people who had something to say, who whispered about me. Who talked bad or tried to trip me up.” He gave a long slow sigh. “They are still here, every single- well most of them. Still here in this town of ours. Even at school. Still around.” He shook his head. “And I know they remember.”

“You should have told someone.” Yusuke bit out. “What they said, what they did. The adults you may want to leave alone because it was just words but not the others. The others that hurt you and tried to do more.”

“And what would that have gotten?” Akira sighed. “A few jokes, a few locked doors. A bit of dowsing in the bathroom.” He shook his head. “Jealousy does things to people. Their hearts were distorted because of their jealousy. I spent enough time in the metaverse to understand that their hearts were being warped. I was the ace, I was the captain. I was the golden kid.” He sighed. “And finally I got thrown down. The year I was gone must have been heaven for them.”

“Doesn’t make it right.” Yusuke felt his hear throbbing. “It doesn’t make them right.”

“And you’re right.” Akira agreed. “But then I came back and they had to take a long good look at themselves. It’s what most of them are doing. My reputation and the things I did, they came back before me. I’m golden again. Shinier than before.” He snorted. “And they have to watch me shine again. They have to accept that it isn’t me. It’s them. Saying something and getting them in trouble, that wouldn’t make them look inwards.”

“For that kind of reason you let them continue as if they didn’t try to take you leg away? Don’t you remember the first time you jumped again? Akira you were shaking. You said it yourself. You weren’t even certain whether they were trying to kill you or not!”

“Yeah.” Akira said softly. “And that made it harder to stay. When I got kick out and kicked away. Part of me was relieved. Now I don’t have to worry about watching my back. Now I don’t have to listen to it being all my fault. Always my fault.” He said softly.

“The fault was theirs it was always theirs.” Yusuke said softly. “I doubt they’ve changed that much.”

“The guilt has them.” Akira said softly. “It’s why I can walk easily. I see them and they see me. I’m still here. I’m stronger than ever.” He whispered. “I found strength, I found love and I have more than double everything they tried to take from me.” He whispered. “I was thrown out but it brought me to you.” Akira said softly. “Once they keep away from me. I really don’t care what they think from now on. They know the truth about themselves now. For now that’s enough. Because we don’t have the metaverse anymore. I can’t be Joker and change their hearts.”

“I wish we could.” Yusuke admitted. “I wish we could change their hearts. I wish we could go one by one track them down and make them kneel before the entire town and apologize. Admit what they did and what they said.”

“I know.” Akira cradled Yusuke’s face between his hands. “That is one of the things I love about you Yusuke. You’re so strong and your sense of justice is so beautiful and fierce.” The kiss he pressed to Yusuke’s forehead was light. “I truly wish I could have Fox by my side once more.”

X

“So.” Akira laughed as he pulled Yusuke along. “I brought this today.” He flipped out an army knife with a smile. “Up for some delinquent deeds Yusuke?”

“What are you up to?” Yusuke laughed as Akira tugged him along. “I’m serious Akira.” He laughed as they stopped right in front of a huge tree. Yusuke eyed the huge trunk before he glanced at his boyfriend that was playing with the knife. “I really don’t understand.”

“Want to do some delinquent deeds?” Akira repeated with a laugh. He grabbed Yusuke’s wrist and pressed his palm against the trunk. “Do some carving?”

“Carving?” Yusuke questioned as he eyed the knife. “Is that knife even up to it?” He traced the trunk with his fingers. “This seems rather tough and old. Is this something we should even be doing Akira?”

“Hence why I asked if you wanted to get up to some delinquent deeds.” Akira teased as he pressed the knife against the trunk. “I want to mark our time here. Show that we were here. Just the two of us. Show that we were here and show our feelings towards each other. I want…” Akira trailed off. “As long as this tree exists. I want us to leave our mark on it.”

“Like a vow.” Yusuke gently took the knife from Akira. “I think I should do the carving. Or at least the outline. I think I know what you want. How about a heart with our names inside? So everyone would know that those sort of people were here.”

“It’s not just about a heart!” Akira was flushing as he spoke. “I want my name with yours. We can do the umbrella thing too. I’ve always wanted to do that. And I want to put my name with your last name and your name with my last name I want-“

Yusuke never thought he would be the one to hush Akira but his free hand found itself clasped over his boyfriend’s mouth. “I think I understand.” It was hard not to giggle. The mood had covered him and he felt light and free. “How about we start with a heart? Or a few hearts? We are the phantom thieves that steal hearts.”

“Then-“ It came out muffled before Yusuke removed his hand. “Shouldn’t I do some too? and do all of them have to be hearts? Can’t they be-“ His hand reached up and snatched a falling blossom from above them. “I mean it is on the tree you know? I think it is kind of cute.”

“Even though from what you said no one is going to come out here.” Yusuke sighed before he smiled. “But I like the idea. I’ll do a few hearts, you can do some hearts. I don’t think I know the umbrella thing you speak of but it sounds nice. We can cover this tree with our true feelings.”

“Is there enough bark for that?” Akira teased before he laughed. “But fine, on the biggest tree.” He stared up at the pink blossoms. “Let us… carve it up like the true phantom thieves we are. I want to write your name with my family name. I want to see your name next to mine.” Akira spread his fingers on the trunk. “All the names given to me.”

“Then in that case.” Yusuke gritted as he began to carve “I hope you were not expecting a perfect knife back Akira. This will be rather dull once we are through.”

“I don’t care. Once it does it’s job.” Akira’s hand covered his wrist. “It’s a job well done and I’ll thank it. I’d even bury it here.” He laughed.

“That’s littering.” Yusuke muttered as he finished the first big heart. “I’m sure in a town such as yours that we can find someone to make it sharp again. Proving it doesn’t break.”

“Look at you.” Akira laughed as he took the knife from him. “Perfect and smart as always. I love you so much. Now let us see. ‘Akira loves Yusuke’.” He murmured as he carved. “Looks nice.”

“It really does.” Yusuke could feel his face burning. “So the next one should be-“

“Another heart and a cherry blossom.” Akira sounded eager. “More hearts!” Yusuke could only blush and carve. Akira let him carve in silence before he took it back after the fourth heart. “And the umbrella.” He hummed. “Your name.” He murmured as he carved Yusuke’s name. “And mine.” He said softly.

“I think I’ll carve our names into this heart.” Yusuke said softly as he took the knife back. “I’m fairly certain that the saying goes ‘Yusuke and Akira forever’ or something like that.” His ears felt so hot even as he carved and spoke.

“It does.” Akira laughed. “Now for this one. Akira Kitagawa.” Yusuke flushed. “One of these days.” Akira mused as he carved. “I don’t know what looks better.” He muttered. “You or me, we still have some time though. Maybe we should hyphenate it? That would be cool.” He moved to the next heart. “Let’s see how that looks instead.”

“You’re so open about this.” Yusuke whispered as his heart throbbed in his chest. “What else? Maybe you should have brought two knives.”

“No.” Akira laughed as he finished up and handed over the knife. “There is nothing wrong with sharing Yusuke.” He smiled and Yusuke ached. “What will you do?”

“I think.” Yusuke swallowed as he carved a bigger heart. “A quote ‘Distance doesn’t matter, the feeling of the heart does’. After all, I love you no matter the distance.” He finished as he carved. “Then our names.” He whispered and carved just that.

“You always know the things to say to make me love you even more.” Akira took the knife and moved for the outline of the blossom. “In that case ‘Joker and Fox forever together’ And ever.” He softly said as he carved. “Hm I can think about a few things I’d like to write about Fox on this tree.”

“If you plan on going down that route.” Yusuke pointed out. “I could write how I love the cocky Joker who doesn’t know when he is over his head.”

“Well…” Akira laughed. “I wouldn’t stop you.”

X

“It’s like pink rain.” Akira laughed as he held Yusuke’s hand. They were finally going home. It had gotten late, they had completely gotten caught up with carving. They had only done one side of the tree but it was more than enough.

“It’s beautiful.” Yusuke brushed a few petals from Akira only for three more to take their places. “I like seeing you covered in this.”

“I could say the same thing about you.” Akira snorted. “In fact, seeing you covered in flower petals makes me want to confess my love to you. It’s so nice all I want to do is hold you and make you mine.”

“But I already am.” Yusuke pointed out.

“Well… yeah.” Akira snorted as they slowly walked down the steps together hand in hand. “But how to put it. I feel closer than you than I had before? Maybe it’s because we were exposing our souls to each other. Maybe it is because we got to talk seriously. I love you, I loved you.” Akira said softly. “And now I love you more than I had this morning. It’s amazing. How much more will I love you tomorrow Fox? And the day after? And five years from now? Ten years from now?”

Yusuke smiled as he looked down past the town past the sea of pink all the way to the sea that had had changed with the setting sun. “I don’t know Joker, it seems we will have to find out. I don’t plan on going anywhere so we will have to see how much love our hearts can contain. We certainly have the time now.” He said softly. That got a laugh from his boyfriend before Akira tugged him into a tight hug. Yusuke was able to relax into it and hug his boyfriend back just as tightly. Considering how they had been, he felt so much closer to Akira and so much lighter.

 

 

 


End file.
